What's considered a good parent?

I've often contemplated about this question. What is considered a good parent? I'm sure if you have kids, you have probably asked your self this question a million times over and over again and even if you don't, you probably thought about this before too.

Before I got married, I've always told myself that I'm going to try to be the best mom/parent to my kids as I can. That I was going to be a better parent than my parents ever was to me. I was going to discipline and have rules and chores, family meetings, family dinners and family gatherings/quality time, homework every night, etc. Boy, now that I have my own kids, it's not as easy as I imagine or thought it would. Imagining it was waaaaay to easy!

Now that I have kids of my own I realized that parenting is hard, super hard! I have 5 kids and they range from 15 1/2 to 4 years old. Through out the past, I've come to learn that each kid has to have different disciplining and each kid has to be talked to differently. You CAN'T just use one tactic on one child and expect it to work on another child...heck NO! It is true what they say, each kid learns differently and each kid has a mind of their own. With this being said, you ALWAYS have to watch what you're saying to your kids to avoid them thinking you are favoring one over the other.

I've always been scared that I'm not disciplining as much or too much or that I'm too strict or not as strict. You don't want to be too much and too less. So how do we do it? I just want to be able to do the right thing so that my kids stay in school, have goals in their life and be successful. By being to strict, your kid can't enjoy their friends or their time being a kid and they will want to rebel against you and do everything opposite of what you oppose to. By being to lenient, your kid will end up with the wrong crowd, party too much and end up dropping out of school or getting into some serious trouble and not listen to you. So what do we do? What makes parents a good parent? I guess as long as you have morale and some kind of rules/discipline you just try to be a good parent as you can be. I don't think any parent is perfect nor any family is perfect and I think that's what makes your family stronger.

Thinking back about what I thought about my parents and I'm NOT saying that they weren't good parents, they were. They just had different insight on how to be parents and they like me right now, just go with the flow and try to be the best they can be to what they know how to be. It's hard and there is no rule in a book that specifically states what you can do to be a better parent. You just have to listen to your kids, talk to them and spend time with them and love them. What more can you do really?

What kind of a parent are you? Are you strict or lenient? I would have to say that I'm both. I was really strict at first with my oldest one Selina but once she got into high school, I realized that when I was her age, I wanted to hang out with my friends and do teenager stuff. So, when thinking about this, I can understand her point of view/side and let her do stuff with her friends too. Of course she has curfews as well as rules, etc too so if she doesn't abide by these, there's grounding for her. I guess you just have to stand your ground for teenagers and not let them walk all over you. I want my kids to have everything that I didn't have when I was a kid but also not to the extent that they would rebel against me or be a spoiled brat too. I will not tolerate this at all.

Each parent has their own parenting skills so I just hope that with my parenting skills my kids will turn out at least decent. I don't expect them to be the president nor a doctor/lawyer but that at least they would TRY to become a better person for themselves. Parenting is hard and life is hard, not every child is the same so you just try to be the best parent that you can be.

Below: Husband and I when we first met.

 Who knew that along the road, we would have 5 kids?

 Above photo: My oldest daughter Selina Pa Chia 15 1/2 years old

 Above photo: Chyna Kashia 12 1/2 years old

 Above photo: Brandon Chonlin 10 1/2 years old

 Above photo: Paris Sanyia 6 1/2 years old

 Above photo: Princeton KoobHmoov  4 1/2 years old

Above photo: All of us together! I think this was the most recent photo of us together...which it has been about 3 years ago! Look at them, they've all grown up so much all ready.

Quotes below that I absolutely love:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” santiz Dr. Seuss quotes

“Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires”

 Marcelene Cox quotes

Looking Forward

Okay, so I know I've been neglecting my blog, that's because I'm still trying to hammer out this winter weather blues. Some days I'm feeling fancy and some other days, I'm just feeling like snow slushy. I haven't been sewing nor taking any pictures lately. I aught to do more of it but again, "trying" is really not on my agenda when my mind/spirit is not all put together. Gosh when will this weather get any better? I guess this is Wisconsin weather, one minute it's nice and sunny out, the next minute it's like a snow storm passing through! One thing I'm sure looking forward to this spring is.........*drum rolls.......

 Fishing! We love to go fishing in middle of April to middle of May for white bass. Yes, my husband has me addicted to fishing. Can't get enough. One thing I don't do while fishing is putting worms on my hook! Ewww!! I can tolerate putting minnows on it although sometimes I still squirm about it once in a while. I also "hate" to unhook the slimy fish from my fishing pole. I usually nag at my husband to do that for me.

I love to cook fish. I usually marinate the fish with herbs, etc (my mouth is watering right now!) and also baking the fish with stuff herbs! Yummi! I should do a blog later on (when fishing season arrives) on how to cook fishes! I have some of my favorite recipes for this!  My kids love fishing with us as well and they keep asking when will it be fishing season again.

My husband and I had the opportunity to go to North Dakota a few years back and go white bass fishing there in Devil's Lake, ND. We went with a good friend/couple of ours. I would love to go again and do a photo shoot there. This place is beautiful. Everywhere you look, it's water! Water to your right, water to your left and water in front of you! It's breathless! Here are some pictures of North Dakota when we went.

 Above picture: After a long day of fishing, we settled next to the lake and cooked some hmong style rice with of course our main entree: Fish! It was super yumi! Look below, the fish we cooked and gobbled up!

Above picture: Morning time, time to go home. We fished a little bit more and had to leave. We caught a cooler full of fishes within 2 hrs!

 Above picture: The morning of leaving, I woke up late..okay, so I was lazy! After everyone caught like dozens of fishes, I finally got my lazy ass up and fished. Caught my very 1st fish for the day!

 Above picture: Husband fishing during sunrise.

 Above picture: This was what we mostly saw...dead trees in water!

 Above picture: This was when we first got to our destination and getting all our fishing gear out of our van. This is a view from the fishing area.

 Husband and uncle Yer (a good friend of ours) walking to find a good fishing spot. As you can see, water to the right and water to the left and up ahead is just hills and valleys of grasses!!

 Above picture: After the rain on our first day we got there.

 Above picture: Hubby and uncle Yer unhooking the fish they just caught!

Fishing tips:
1) Always be careful of your fishing area/surrounding. Pay attention to slippery rocks/cliffs/grasses as well as people.
2) White bass fishing is usually around mid April to about mid May or usually it ends by memorial weekend, depending on the temperature outside, or like husband and I usually put it, when the lilacs start blooming is when fish starts swimming!
3) Make sure you have fishing license. It's cheaper if you purchase fishing license as husband and wife. There's a hefty fine if you don't have one! Once in a while, DNR will stop YOU so please have one!
4) Depending which state you live in, you should always check what the limit of the fishes you can keep. For Wisconsin, there is ZERO limit on the white basses meaning you can have coolers and coolers of them. Be sure to check the limit for other fishes though!!
5) Last but not least, just have fun and enjoy the nature around you as well as spending some quality time with yourself or your loved ones/friends that are there fishing with you!

Again, check back for recipes in the near future for how to cook fishes!

Below is a quote I found about fishing. It's sooooo represents me! lols!!!

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.  ~Dave Barry

Time has stopped clicking...

I've not been feeling all too well lately, emotionally and spiritually that is. Sometimes when you think you are one step ahead, you fall 10 steps back. I just have no ambition to blog nor do anything. You can say it might very well be depression. Depressed? Gosh about life, love, money, family, me. I think about all the people that's passed away and that's still living. I think about how I'm going to do an when I'm going to die. I think about who's here to love me and remember me and who will take care of my kids. I think about how old I'm going to grow and how much more depressing stages of life will I go through or how much more can I take. Sometimes it's not always easy to get out of bed and to start your day when all you want to do is just sleep and sleep forever and never have to wake up.

I have my husband and kids but sometimes you just feel lonely. When you are in a relationship too long, nothing is about love anymore it's about "have to" for the kids sakes. It's when you're husband comes home from work and the first thing he does is goes right onto the computer and at night the last thing he does is right on the computer. No romance, no love, no nothing. I know my husband loves me alot but I want romance I want him to show it so that I can feel it. I guess when you're into the marriage too long, the marriage gets too predictable and too boring. You just sometimes fall "out of love" and it gets lonely.

I'm going to try to strengthen up and just do it for my kids. Maybe when they're a lot older, I might just venture out by myself and see what's there left in life for me. But hey, look on the brighter side...I still love photography. I haven't had much ambition to go take pictures anymore. It's this freaking cold as weather that's not helping my mood too. No pictures or quotes this time. I'll try to blog more, maybe this will ease my mind more too. Until then, take care!